Hold Still

LaCour, N. (2009). Hold Still. New York: Dutton Books. ISBN 978-0-525-42155-9

Why read this book

Have you ever had a friend who lost someone close to them and you didn’t know what to say because you didn’t know what they were going through? Hold Still reveals the painful grieving process that Caitlan experiences when her best friend commits suicide.

Plot summary

At the end of their sophomore year in a high school in suburban San Francisco, Caitlan’s best friend Ingrid suddenly commits suicide. Caitlan didn’t see it coming, and she has no idea how to deal with her feelings in the aftermath. Hold Still follows Caitlan through her junior year as she tries to put her life back together, holding on to Ingrid as much as she can and fearing that making new friends would be letting Caitlan down yet again. Caitlan treasures the journal that Ingrid slipped under Caitlan’s bed the night before she killed herself, and Caitlan wrestles with photography class, which she and Ingrid had done together freshman and sophomore years. Ingrid’s talent hugely impressed their photography teacher, Ms. Delani, but Ms. Delani is dealing with her own feelings of remorse for not having seen Caitlan’s suffering in time to do something to help her. Dylan, a new girl at school, Jayson, whom Ingrid had a crush on even if she hardly ever spoke to him, and Taylor, a guy who takes a romantic interest in Caitlan, become the friends who help Caitlan through her year of darkness.

Critical evaluation

Nina LaCour maps the path through Caitlan’s suffering with a well-written, first-person narrative that captures the intensity of the conflicting emotions that Ingrid’s death leaves in its wake without resorting to clichés or settling for superficiality. By weaving pages from Ingrid’s journal and descriptions of Ingrid’s photographs into the narrative of the year after her death, LaCour integrates the girls’ shared past with Caitlan’s empty present and reveals the dynamics that shape Caitlan’s pain. The limitations of even the most sensitive and supportive adults to help Caitlan heal also comes through clearly, as do the contributions of art and Caitlan’s own creativity to her healing process. The demolition of an old movie theater that Ingrid and Caitlan treasured mirrors the loss of Ingrid and helps Caitlan accept change, and Caitlan’s own creativity with photography and a tree house she builds in her back yard show that change can heal as well as destroy.

About the author

Nina LaCour grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. She received her B.A. from San Francisco State University and an M.F.A. from Mills College in Oakland. She currently teaches English at an independent high school in Berkeley. Hold Still is her first novel (Bio, n.d.).

Genre: Life is hard

Curriculum ties

The careful development of themes around loss, change, and healing make Hold Still a good book for a high school literature class. Used thoughtfully, it could be a good text to help students who have lost a classmate.

Book-talking ideas

• Read Caitlan’s realization on page 91 that she could have taken more seriously some of the misgivings that Ingrid had expressed about herself in the months before she committed suicide. This passage captures well the way that a person who is feeling awful sometimes disguises the hints and lets others treat them casually.

• Read excerpts from Ingrid’s journal, such as her letter to Jayson, with whom she seldom spoke, about the crush she had on him (p. 68). Discuss with students other ways they deal with crushes like that besides confiding it to their journals.

• Play the YouTube book trailer, which includes a passage from Ingrid’s journal.

Reading level/interest age

The text is probably accessible to middle school students, but the way in which Hold Still is a book of ideas and emotions rather than plot or action means that older students will probably find it more engaging.

Challenge issues

Ingrid describes one sex scene in her journal. Caitlan and Taylor mess around a little. There is no profanity and no violence. There are no villains, but the story is very sad until near the end, which might scare some parents. Some parents might object that a book that centralizes suicide is not appropriate for impressionable young souls.

Responses

• Remind the challenger of the policy (in the case of the San Francisco Public Library) to present “all points of view on current and historical issues. Materials should not be proscribed or removed because of partisan or doctrinal disapproval.”

• Point out that Hold Still does not romanticize suicide. The incredible pain that Ingrid leaves in her wake is more likely to dissuade a young person from thinking about suicide than encourage them (although one never knows).

Why I chose to read this book

Nina LaCour is a teacher of the daughter of some close friends, and they told me about the book when it was published in October.

References

Bio. (n.d.). Nina LaCour. Retrieved November 29, 2009, from http://ninalacour.com/